I really should write more consistently here. It's just one of those things that make you feel like you've had a semi-productive day. Like you've lived a little. Same thing with working out. Yup. Same concept.

So, a friend of mine the other told me something that dynamited my little world. Out of nowhere, and I haven't really talked to her for months, she posted something on Facebook that said i changed her life. My first reaction of course, is that, given the nature of the application she was using, she had to put somebody there. I thought on that for awhile, and then I cried. I never really feel like I have an impact on anyone's life, and to hear it from someone I really admire and believe in was pretty extraordinary. I didn't even prompt it!. It's not like I've been bugging here to pay me a compliment. So, Miss Allison, I thank you. I don't think anyone could say something that would mean more to me.

Now because this is my blog, I can kind of control the content of my life which I allow you to see. his little corner of cyberspace is kind of like my little fantasy, where all the best moments past, present, future, and never will be can intermingle and coalesce into something perhaps more strange and beautiful than I could have thought possible. Of course, you the loyal reader don't get to see this. You can't really know what's going on inside of my head if I don't tell you.

But tonight, I'm choosing to go back a few days to my Ludington trip. I think I've said before how much I enjoy those long drives between Detroit and Ludington. Amazing how much things change in those few short hours. I begin in Detroit, a place I feel cut off from the world, a bit lonely, residing and working in a city whose prominent features are most often streetlights and asphalt. I head north and turn left at Saginaw, right about where you get that "up north" feel, where the trees become more coniferous, and more abundant. And then I finish by driving into Ludington straight to the Lake, I'm talking within 40 feet or so, checking out the moon and the white caps pitching through the night, and wind up at mom's, a cradle of reassurance and comfort.

I decided on this trip that I love my moonroof on my new car. It's like a drive-in movie theatre (in 3D, no less!) The movie screen is the sky, and they all seem so close! Probably not the safest thing to do - stargazing while driving. Anyway, driving gives me time to think about things I shouldn't be thinking about during the busy days of my life. Women, for example. Or the nature of humans, what we need, what we crave. These drives are the hardest time to be alone. I find myself with plenty to say but no one to say it to. Countless, obscure musings and observations. "Did that tree just wink at me?" "Did you see that sign back there? That wasn't a swastika, was it?" And I crave to be told something I would never see, something to make my mind turn a sharp right and enter an entire new world. I think a good relationship should take you there every single day - challenged, mystified, provoked. How else might life be interesting? So yeah, I'm there in my car wishing she were there. Thinking that she should be there. Knowing that I've loved her all my life....and also knowing that I would probably not be thinking any of those things if she were really there. I think I'd be too intent brushing her hair back from her skin, reminding myself how amazing it is to touch and be touched. Life-affirming, like the Lake.

Fortune....fortune....fortune favors....