Lizzie: tiger cat, appears perpetually bored, kills things frequently though she moves soooo slowly as to appear in slow motion, fat, always hungry, likes to be pet when food is near, favorite petting spots: jawline, tummy, has little tolerance for Reese's shenanigans, knows she's better than you. This photo was taken by my cousin Jesse.
Reese: Looong, skinny but getting fat, combustible, undaunted by challenges, loves to climb trees and telephone poles, knocks things over, sometimes misses his mark when he jumps (it looks painful), likes to annoy Lizzie, ridiculously cute, favorite petting spot: top of head, chin. This is also a Jesse photo.
With my housemate cousins up north skiing for the weekend, this is what I've got. I will sometimes hear a thud when Lizzie jumps down from a table or her cat castle, or when Reese knocks something over, but otherwise they are relatively unheard from.
So there you go. They don't know it yet, but I intend to keep my phone camera at the ready for any impromptu spontaneous displays of stupidity. Reese is especially prone to such random acts. Among the events that have not been captured on film: 1. Reese sees a bird in our backyard pear tree. Reese decides to run full speed up the tree and leap out at the branch containing said bird. Reese miscalculates jump, spins full 360 around the branch while he is hanging on for dear life with his front paws. 2. It's midnight. Reese has been outside for at least three hours. Where could he be? I go outside and see Lizzie sitting next to the streetlight in our driveway (I hate that, it ruins the night). So I look up. There is Reese! I have no idea what could have possessed him to climb that pole. I guess because it was there? Hmmmm, come to think of it, Reese does a lot of things that I would do. Does that mean I'm stupid? 3. Reese thinks he sees something in the silk tree in my basement apartment. Reese climbs tree, even though it probably weighs less than he does. Tree comes tumbling down, with Reese in it. I hear a scramble, and then Reese appears, scampering away in a rush.
In other news which may be cause for uproarious laughter, I have decided to purchase a jump rope. Mind you, I've not used one in about fifteen years. But my gym is fifteen miles from my house, and it's a waste of gas to go there when I'm not lifting weights. Wish me luck! I'm fearful that my cousins will come home Sunday and find me in a heap on the floor. Even if I don't get my feet tangled up, I can feel my body overbalancing after about three revolutions....... YOU try it if you think you can do better! I have also decided to change my gym routine. I will now go before work so that I can potentially get home at a decent hour, and so if I am invited anywhere, I don't have to be lame and say, "no, I'm going to the gym." I'm not fond of this idea, though. This means I will have to deal with many more people. I believe I've already told you how I feel about this. I would rather eat raw liver than work out among people. We'll see how this new plan goes. Having social options just may NOT be worth it.
At work, Courtyard by Marriott now has its own font! Finally! Can you believe it?! Marriott actually hired some company to design a font just for us. I wonder if our guests know that this is the kind of stuff we spend their money on. I cannot, unfortunately, name this font, nor may I show you what it looks like. I, apparently, "may not duplicate, reproduce, sell, transfer, license, or otherwise distribute the font in any form." Etc. etc. I suppose this also means that I am not allowed to cook, eat, light afire, stomp upon, lick, transport, run over, or kidnap the font. It ought to be capitalized, like a person. You know, the Font. "What am I doin' tonight? Oh, I'm hangin' out at the Font's house. We're gonna practice calligraphy and draw mustaches on people while they sleep." The Font.
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